Don't be offended by online-dating rejection

Don't be offended by online-dating rejection

Online dating seems like the pinnacle of modernity, an online meat market where glassy-eyed humans browse possible suitors, sorted for ease of shopping by size, shape and moral fabric.

So advanced does it appear, so streamlined and slick-interfaced and "Jetsons"-esque, that it's easy to overlook a very basic truth: Online dating is the freaking savanna. Circa 2 million years ago. As in, early humans tearing around the open grasslands without much regard for courtship courtesy.

When we type in our logins and go surfing for love, out come all our animalistic instincts: We refuse to give a second look to those who don't meet our physical requirements, rudely ignore those we don't find worthy and generally let our ids run wild.

"Lookit all these people I can date!" we think gleefully, our brains reverting to caveman-like activity. "Woman! Another woman! Me get!"

Along with this savanna comes permission to do stuff that'd get you a drink in the face I.R.L. We're not about to tell you not to do those things. Sure, online dating could benefit from a protocol overhaul in terms of courtesy, but begging everyone to change the rules this late in the game would be stupid.

Instead, we'd like to tell you, starry-eyed romantics with big dreams of finding love: Toughen up. Don't take things so personally. Stop weeping onto your keyboard in the online quest for love.

In short: Online dating is not for the easily offended. So if you're offering your heart up to the WWW gods, don't be too put off by the following social un-graces. Save your sobbing for the disappointment of bad first dates, seemingly perfect mates who can't commit and the Ones Who Get Away. You know, the good stuff.

The Offense: After reading Suitor X's profile, you are convinced you two are going to fall in love and wander through tulip fields while Louis Armstrong songs waft from some invisible speaker.

You send off a digital epistle, a perfectly worded blend of snark and flirtatiousness ("Oh, my God, I like 'Witch House' too. We are totally meant to be.") Hours later, you log in again and notice that your Match has viewed your profile and chosen not to respond. Ever.